I think I died a long time ago.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
