im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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