just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
