Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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