It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
