But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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