sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He better not be in your backpack
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
