is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
