a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
