Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
