From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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