whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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