I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
