i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize