i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
