The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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