First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
