pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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