No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
