Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude. I can hear the air.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
