whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
