Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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