i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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