Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
