my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
