the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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