Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
