He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
