oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
