You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize