Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
