i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize