Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
