I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So I just went to clothing optional bar
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
