Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
