I seem to have left my pride at pride
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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