Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
