he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
