just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
When are your genitals available?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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