You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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