An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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