So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
