Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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