try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
