More tranny stories later!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
