Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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