Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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