I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
