you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
