I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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