The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
