why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
