there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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