I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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