erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
