Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
