is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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