My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
